when our dog dies
It wasn’t long ago that my wife and I had to go through a harrowing situation that I wish to never go through again if possible, but we had to say goodbye to our beloved Murphy and have our beautiful Murphy euthanasia. I still remember those beautiful eyes gazing up at me as my wife and I sat and cuddled our fur baby while he took his last breaths, and his absolute admiration, a good dose of confusion that we were there with him. Plus Slightly confused and anxious with the surroundings of this situation but happy we were with him.
We all know of at least one person who cannot understand the trauma when the family dog (family member) dies and can cause such grief and upset and think we are overreacting when we burst into tears with sadness and grief. Perhaps they think we are all a bit soft as its just a dog, Right?
However, even these people know that a loving pet is not “just a dog” but a beautiful addition to the family.
I have known of many a person who has put on social media or phoned up to state that they are grieving over the loss of their pet. And many have felt a tad guilty that they had stressed and anguished over a lost pet more then they have a human relative. However, research has indicated that as humans, losing a pet whether it’s a dog, cat, horse or even much-loved hamster can be compared to losing a human family member or friend.
Especially if the dog had been a part of the family for many years bringing love and companionship to the mix of “family”.
What is sad is that it is hard to grieve for a lost pet, without a sense of loss and what to do next.
As when a relative or friend dies, we have a ritual of having a funeral, religious or not, a wake, an obituary in the local newspaper, friends family contacting us whether we are ok or not, and bringing casseroles around to help comfort us, etc
But when a pet dies none of this happens, we feel silly and feel our emotions are a bit “over the top” to be so upset over “just an animal”. We are embarrassed and feel awkward that we have this deep sense of loss grievance and pain and having to explain ourselves to others for our sad state of affairs.
If only we could let everybody know that our dogs are very important to us and that there is an intense bond of love and companionship and loss, it would make the grieving process so much more helpful. If we could be more open about it without feeling silly.
There is an overwhelming bond between a man and his dog like no other.
So we do have to ask the question.
What is it that makes people extremely close to their dog/s!
Well if we look at the history of Dogs and man, we can see how the adaption occurred. Its well over 10,000 years that Dogs had adapted to living with a man and we do it both quite well. A dog really has been one of the only animals that have evolved to being mans best friend in compared to other animals.
Anthropologist Brian Hare has done a study called “The Domestication Hypothesis”, to help us understand how a dog from 10,000 years ago (a grey wolf ancestor) transformed into a very social and well-adapted animal to people’s lives. And how we as people tend to treat our pooches as if they are an extension of the family and are an additional member of that family (we treat them like they are the “baby” of the family, let’s face it we can’t help it).
One of the reasons why dogs love their human is because our dogs just don’t judge! And love us unconditionally. Our relationship with our dog can or could be the most fulfilling relationship a person ever has because of their unconditional love and acceptance of that person. They don’t judge on our clothes what we wear or where we live. They are totally focused on their friend and master to whom they adore.
This situation has not happened by accident. This occurrence as been developed over the years with selectively bred management though out the generations so that Man and dog will always complement each other. There are even studies that have been performed such as an MRI scans on dogs that indicate that dogs will respond to praise just as much as they do to food.
Not surprisingly People just can not help themselves when they see a cute adorable dog and react positively with their undeniable affection and loyalty to their humans. There have been studies that indicate that people with a dog are way better off than someone who does not own a dog.
Therefore, it is not uncommon for a person to call out their dog’s name rather than one of their children, husband, wife or partners name. It is a common occurrence to some, so the attachment is real and goes to show how much part of the family unit the pooch is to everyone in the household.
So it is of little wonder people are totally devastated when their dearly beloved dog dies and leave the family unit. It is very personal and tragic and the family unit needs time to grieve the loss of a family member.
Psychologist Julie Axelrod. Has indicated that these feeling are real and can be compared to losing any close member in the family. It is indeed a huge “hole” left in the family unit who gave unconditional love and companionship and who also provide an element of security and comfort. And to many people, the loss of a dog, could be as painful as losing their only “ child”.
Not only is it painful to lose a valued member of the family. The stress levels, the upheaval of the daily routine can be quite profound and disorientating to a person who has lost their beloved pet. As in some incidents, caring for the needs of a dog can be intense and consuming. Once this need has been removed this routine has discontinued, it can leave an emptiness and longing can be overwhelming with the grief of missing that beautiful dog.
When a pet dies it can be quite disruptive to a person/family and they do not know what to do with themselves anymore and long to have the old routine back. Many people have been known to document and talk about how they feel they can hear their deceased pets, which can be quite upsetting and indicates the close attachment the dog and the person were to each other.
So when a pet a beloved puppy dog dies it is overwhelming how we miss them so much and grieve for their presence and their character that we were endeared to for so long. However, with dogs unlike humans. We can grieve and remember but always have the sense and knowledge our puppy dogs are here for only a short amount of time and were never intended to be with us forever. There is an element of comfort knowing that they were loved unconditionally within their lives and we can not do better than that!
We can only cherish the memory and respect the memory of our dear dogs and remember them for who they were and their quirky little traits that made them so endearing to us.
However, unlike people. We do move on more rapidly when we lose a dear 4-legged friend. We do and can nurture and farewell our beautiful dogs, but we cherish what we had and give ourselves time to grieve and heal.
Its usually only a matter of time that we feel ready to embrace a new little wonder, a new character someone to nurture and cherish all over again. As the experience is one that we want to capture again. We cannot help ourselves, after a while we feel something is missing in our lives and we remember all the good positive things we did with our last family member and there is nothing better than to adopt a pooch who is in need of a family and we can do it all over again.
With lots of love and respect to our previous dog. We will put our selves through the whole ordeal again because owning a dog is to reward than not to have that Love in our lives.
